Joey's Diary
by KaibasVeryOwnPinaColada
Summary: A diary revealing some of Joey's secret-and not so secret-thoughts. Rated for yaoi and mild language! COMPLETE!
1. February 20 2005

2/20/05

Dear Kaiba,

Today I realized something…I love you! And I want to be together for ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and EVER!

Until the day we become lovely maidens and live happily ever after.

Anyhoo, this IS my diary, and I will write what ever I feel like in it. And I love you, Seto Kaiba.

Anyways, why are you so mean to me? I only love you!

Let's see, what did I do today…I scared small children and sat around on my lazy ass. Yep, that's about it…:goes back to read what has been written so far:…wow, I never realized my handwriting was so sloppy! Did YOU ever realize that, Kaiba-dearest-to-me?

Well, what else did I do today? I got an F on my math test…go me!

Wait…an F is bad, right?

I guess you learn something new everyday!

What else did I do today…I guess I went to school, got detention, and am sitting at this juncture writing this.

Well…bye for now I guess,

Signed,

Joey Wheeler, Fanboy of Seto Kaiba


	2. February 21 2005

_**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN YUGIOH OR ANY SONGS IN THIS FIC!**_

2/21/05

Here we go again!

Dear Seto Kaiba,

Today was fun! I saw you! You were strolling elegantly down the spacious hall as your gravity-defying trench coat billowed out beautifully behind you.

**And you punched me.**

Yes, you punched me.

Why, oh, why must you do such a horrid deed? I only love you!

Let's see…what else to say…Oh! Yes! I decorated my diary with Winnie-The-Pooh and Happy Bunny stickers!

THEY ARE JUST ADORABLE!

I learned a song today, too! It was called Banana Phone.

It goes like this:

_Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring  
Banana phone  
Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring  
Banana phone_

_I've got this feeling  
so appealing  
for us to get together and sing - SING!_

_Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring  
Banana phone  
Ding dong ding dong ding dong ding  
Donana phone_

_It grows in bunches  
I've got my hunches  
Its the best  
beats the rest  
cellular modular  
interactivodular_

_Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring  
Banana phone  
Ping pong ping pong ping pong ping  
Ponana phone_

_Its no baloney  
It aint a phony  
My cellular  
Bananular phone!_

There's more to the song, but I forgot how it goes! Ah well!

But wait! I learned another song, called Needle in the Haystack!

I LOVE SUBMARINES MORE THAN I LOVE SETO KAIBA!

No. Wait. Actually I don't.

**Love** to you _**Kaiba**_,

_Joseph Wheeler_


	3. February 26 2005

2/26/05

Dear Kaiba,

I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU!

Aren't ya happy, Seto! WE ARE PARTNERS IN SCIENCE!

Joey is HAPPY!

We get to collect bugs together! I know you aren't happy, but I am…

I just realized something-

I'M GAY!

Even Yugi doesn't know this. I fell very, very, VERY guilty about keeping this a secret, but it has to be done.

I'm sorry, Yug.

Love, Joey.


	4. March 2 2005

3/2/05

Dear Kaiba,

I love you soooooooooo much! I love you I love you I love you I love you I LOOOOVVVEEE YOU!"

Sorry, just had to write that…

Anyways, why did you look like you wanted to kill me? I ONLY SAID THAT BUTTERFLY YOU CAUGHT REMINDED ME OF YOU! GOSH!

But I meant it! That butterfly is free, beautiful and gravity defying, just like you and your sexy trench coats!

Here's a poem I wrote about you in Science:

_Kaiba, My Kaiba,_

_Sexy you,_

_Why must you hate me?_

_I love you so true._

_Gravity defying,_

_Butterfly flying,_

_Handome and true._

That's it! I think it's a very prettiful poem…is 'prettiful' a word?

Meh.

I just realize I rhymed 'true' with 'true'.

WHO GIVES A DAMN!

I don't!

Love ya always,

_**Joseph Wheeler**_


	5. March 4 2005

3/4/05

My Dearest Seto Kaiba,

Why were you gone today! I had to collect bugs all by my lonesome…

I don't think you were sick. Did you just stay home so ya wouldn't have to work with me? GOSH!

You made me sad, you did.

I'm crying right now.

**Love, Joey**

PS: I still love you.

PPS: OUCH! This frickin' diary just gave me a paper cut!

PPPS: OUCH!

PPPPS: Bye!


	6. March 9 2005

3/9/05

Dear Kaiba,

You almost smiled at me today! Just about! When your lips turned upwards, I began to shiver with glee!

GLEE I TELL YA! GLEE!

I am not a gleeful person. Oh, wait: I am. Joke.

Sigh.

I had to tell Yugi about my secret crush. He just said, "Duh. It is SO obvious!"

I was stunned, I tell you! STUNNED!

But really, Kaiba and I have been through SO MUCH together…I wish he liked my as much as I love him!

Love, a Gleeful and Cheerful and Hopeful,

Joey Wheeler

* * *

Author's Note: Sorry it took me so long to update! I've just been SO ADDICTED to the Sims2...if you have that game you'll know just how addictive it is! 


	7. March 18 2005

3/11/05

My Kaiba,

Yo. Things are peachy keen here. I never did find out why you nearly smiled at me, but eh.

Who cares?

I just thought up something REALLY funny to put on my answering machine:

"Hi. This is Joey: If you are the phone company, I already sent  
the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my  
financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you  
are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I  
have plenty of money."

That is like, WAY COOL!

I LOVE IT! I THINK I'LL GO PUT IT ON MY ANSWERING MACHINE RIGHT NOW!

Love ya, Kaiba,

_**Joey.**_


	8. March 31 2005

Disclaimer: I do NOT own YGO or Harry Potter, But I DO own the story When Kaiba Directs…and I'd be VERY happy for just one review!

3/31/05

YO!

I am SOOO happy!

Spring Break is FINALLY here! And I just got a new Harry Potter book! It's a called When Kaiba Directs! ™.

Kaiba, why do you hate me? I LOVE YA SO MUCH!

I have decided to be an author. Why, do you ask? I think I'm a great diary writer! And one day I will rule the world…and become dictator of Spain…and publish my diary!

I am an evil young boy with aspirations of world domination…

Love, Joey


	9. April 11 2005

4/11/05

Yo homies!

J-Dawg here. Still madly in love with the K-Bomb.

Okay, I'll stop that. I'm scaring myself here.

What's up with me? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

I just got a new Pokémon game though. It is called Pokémon Sapphire.

I LOVE THAT GAME, especially Roselia. I love that Pokémon, 'cause it's all prettiful and floweriful.

Roselia is the GREATEST Pokémon EVER!

Love,

Joseph Wheeler.


	10. April 13 2005

4/13/05

Dearest Kaiba,

Science is over. We're not partners anymore.

I am so sad.

Our love is over. I can no longer love you. I will kill myself. Now.

_Yours truly,_

_A sad and depressed Joey_

END!

AUTHOR: (Sniffs) Such a sad ending. Joey kills himself! I never knew it would end like this.

All because of Kaiba.

Ah well. I've had fun writing this, and by your reviews, I can see that you've all had fun reading this.

I will (eventually) be writing Kaiba's side of this.

Love,

Sara (KaibasVeryOwnPinaColada)


End file.
